I've always loved frogs. Their sleek agility, long slender fingers, and delicate intricacy mesmerize me. But most of all, I'm captivated by their vulnerability.
Have you ever noticed that most frogs have nothing to protect themselves except their agility? Turtles may be just as colorful as frogs. They're intricately patterned and excellent swimmers. But the fascination just isn't there for me.
Turtles are slow... guarded... protected. With their thick shells, turtles can't sing us to sleep in the quiet dusk. Turtles simply can't rival the agility and riveting beauty of a frog.
At least, that's how it seemed to me as I prepared to guide my first group of teens through our very first video project together. Perhaps you'd disagree about the wildlife I chose, and that's ok. But since these kids and I had formed longstanding traditions around catching crawdads and fish, a project on frogs seemed like a perfect beginning.
For several weeks, the girls and I gathered in my living room, learning what Jesus has to say about vulnerability. Sometimes we met twice in a single week, soaking in the truth about showing up authentically to God and others.
It all starts when we have a relational fear... a fear of being lonely, invalidated, manipulated, ignored, rejected, or unwanted.
Rather than being vulnerable with God and others, we hide in a shell like a turtle.
Our turtle-shell defenses come up: we withdraw, escalate, blame, control, manipulate, throw tantrums. We deny, minimize, and get defensive and clingy. Even humor and sarcasm can be turtle shells. See the complete list of defense mechanisms here.
These shells make us slow, clumsy, and unable to move forward on adventure with God and others.
Jesus modeled vulnerability the night before he died. He wept and sobbed in the presence of God and his three best friends, expressing how difficult this experience was for him. As a result, he was strengthened by an angel.
When we are vulnerable, God doesn't leave us bare and defenseless. God is our refuge, our safe place. We can be vulnerable because He is our security. Are you afraid of being rejected? You can be honest about it with your partner or friend because Jesus will never reject you (John 6:37) Feeling defective? You don't have to hold up the turtle shell, because God is at work to make you mature and complete, lacking nothing (James 1:4) See the complete list of relational fears and precious promises here.
The rubber hit the road when the first frogs came to live with me. I started by catching some frogs a couple weeks in advance, just in case they were all in hiding the day of the shoot. Every morning, I ambushed swarming, buzzing flies and watched the frogs swallow them alive. A friend recommended a shop where I could buy a few tree frogs, sparkling green like emerald jewels. Their chirruping chorus filled my house each night.
On the day of the shoot, the evening sun glowed golden around us as we captured tiny brown frogs in the pond. We trekked to the caves, perching on the sandstone cliffs in the twilight breeze.
There, we remembered that God will always be our refuge--even when we are vulnerable. You can check out our first video project here.
Lists adapted from "What are You Really Fighting About" by Focus on the Family
How can we let go of control? Find out here.
Want to know more about shame? Click here to read more.
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