Be honest with God and your close friends about your fears. God is your refuge in these relational fears:
Being rejected (John 6:37) Jesus said, “However, those the Father has given me will come to me, and I will never reject them.”
Being judged (Romans 8:1) “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.”
Feeling disconnected (Romans 8:39) Nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God
Feeling lonely (Hebrews 13:5) “He himself has said, ‘I will never leave you or abandon you.’”
Being powerless (Ephesians 3:20) “Now to him who is able to do infinitely more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us”— You care about what we ask or imagine, You are in control, and You are protecting us all.
Feeling inferior (Daniel 9:23 “At the beginning of your petitions an answer went out, and I have come to give it, for you are treasured by God.”)
Feeling worthless (You are precious in My sight, Since you are honored and I love you Isaiah 43:4)
Feeling defective (James 1:4 when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.)
Feeling insignificant through not pleasing people
Feeling like a failure (To Moses after his failure: “Please, Lord,” Moses replied, “I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since You have spoken to Your servant, for I am slow of speech and tongue.” And the Lord said to him, “Who gave man his mouth? Or who makes him mute or deaf, sighted or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will help you as you speak, and I will teach you what to say. Exodus 4:10-12)
Being devalued (You are precious in My sight, Since you are honored and I love you Isaiah 43:4)
Feeling humiliated. (James 4:10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.)
Being misunderstood (You know when I sit down and when I stand up. You understand my thoughts from far away. Psalm 139:2)
Being abandoned (If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, Even there Your hand will lead me, And Your right hand will lay hold of me. Psalm 139: 9-10)
Feeling unimportant (At the beginning of your petitions an answer went out, and I have come to give it, for you are treasured by God. Daniel 9:23)
Being ignored (Psalm 139:2-6, 17-18) O LORD, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar. You scrutinize my path and my lying down, And are intimately acquainted with all my ways. Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold, O LORD, You know it all. You have enclosed me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is too high, I cannot attain to it. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. When I awake, I am still with You.
Being unwanted (Ephesians 1:4-5) He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will
Being disliked (For we know, brothers and sisters loved by God, that he has chosen you 1 Thessalonians 1:4)
Feeling distrustful (Deuteronomy 7:9 Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God)
Feeling unhappy (Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.)
Scripture verses are my own addition to a list Adapted from “Why Good Marriages Go Bad” by Michael and Amy Smalley by Focus on the Family https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/what-are-you-really-fighting-about/
When we're honest with God, we are agile and strong enough to face what happens in life. When we use these defense mechanisms, we're slowed by a heavy shell of pain and fear.
Withdraw
Escalate
Blame
Manipulate
Throw tantrums
Go into denial
Invalidate/minimize
Become defensive
Become clingy
Become passive/aggressive
Go into fix-it mode (and become controlling)
Complain/criticize
Lash out
Exaggerate/catastrophize
Become enraged
Shut down emotionally
Deflect with humor
Display sarcasm
Rationalize
Become indifferent
from Your Best Us: Marriage is easier than you think https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/what-are-you-really-fighting-about/
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